I run. It’s hard to explain why sometimes (aside from the obvious health benefits) but I do it anyway. The thing is, I don’t have to run anymore, but I do it anyway. The Marine Corps is why I started in the first place, but those days are past me. I even resented it a little in those early days, unable to see the upside and what it had to offer, seeing it instead as just another command barked by someone with a heavier collar. But now it transcends all that. 

Now I run because I want to. I have to. I need to. 

I’ve learned, after twenty-five years of it, that there is a very special physical place that is only attainable through hard, heart-wrecking, cardiovascular exertion. Runner’s high? Hardly. There’s nothing high about it for me. In fact, it sucks. It sucks bad. But in that moment when I realize how bad it sucks, and simultaneously realize that I can function at that level and in that condition, I overcome it all. It becomes clear that the challenge I’ve undertaken will not, in fact, kill me. It will actually demonstrate once again that I’ve not only underestimated myself, but the human capacity to endure suffering. I revel in that moment more than any other, perhaps because all of the doubt, dread, and fear that I experienced leading up to that moment simply falls away, meaningless. 

A friend posted on social media today how running has changed his life. He gave credit to God for it, and went on to explain how he runs for God. It works for him; the whole running/connection to God thing. I don’t doubt for a minute what he says about his inspiration and his journey, and it makes me smile. He also mentioned me, and whatever small part I might have played in his running. I never set out to inspire anyone, but for him to give me even a sliver of credit for his success is flattering. The credit for the things he’s done belong only to him and God, as he stated. He’s found that place: the place in the midst of the misery where he can compartmentalize the pain and suffering and realize that he will continue to prevail. 

And that’s why I love running and the misery it brings- it’s a small representation of the human experience and the capacity to prevail over the suffering we are all destined to endure. It sucks, but this too shall pass.